{"id":3088,"date":"2014-12-14T20:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-14T20:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/english.thesunrisetoday.com\/?p=3088"},"modified":"2015-06-21T01:04:03","modified_gmt":"2015-06-21T00:04:03","slug":"my-fiancees-death-led-me-to-islam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/english.thesunrisetoday.com\/index.php\/my-fiancees-death-led-me-to-islam\/","title":{"rendered":"My Fianc\u00e9e’s Death Led Me to Islam"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Maria\"<\/a>My name is Maria. I converted to Islam one year ago. I\u2019m from Boulder, Colorado. I was born here. I went to school here my whole life.
\nBoth my parents they are actually from South Africa. They immigrated here. Neither of them is religious. They are both atheists, so they don\u2019t really believe in God.
\nI have one brother, he is studying music at the University of Colorado. He is Catholic, so he is not Muslim either.
\nBefore I converted, I didn\u2019t really believe in God. I didn\u2019t really have a religion. I didn\u2019t really have a faith, I guess you could say. I kind of grew up with what my parents taught me, so I didn\u2019t really believe in God. I didn\u2019t believe in really any religion at all.
\nIf we talked about religion, we kind of talked about it almost negatively I guess. Before, I didn\u2019t really see religion as a good thing.\u00a0 I thought it was something that like caused a lot of problems, like wars in the world and stuff. I viewed it as mostly negatively.
\nDiscovering Islam
\nI guess I first learned about Islam about 2 or 3 years ago. I was dating this guy from Pakistan, and so it was the first time I opened up to Islam. I was more open to learning about it and not to think about it negatively. I really didn\u2019t know anything about it at all. So after talking to him and talking to few other people, I started to gather more facts. I bought an English copy of the Quran that I started reading.
\nWhen I met my fianc\u00e9e, we didn\u2019t really talk about religion. I didn\u2019t think about him in a sense of being a Muslim, or being very religious. I guess I just thought of him as being like a really noble and kind-hearted person. He was one of the best people that I had ever known, he had such a good character, he was really like kind to everybody. He was never mean to anybody even if he didn\u2019t like them, you know, he would be nice to them. He would never look at you straight in the face and be mean to you.
\nI guess when I thought about him I didn\u2019t think about those qualities being because of Islam. I just thought they were because of him. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that maybe these good things about him were because of Islam. Maybe because he was a Muslim, he actually ended up being more kind-hearted and more open, and a better person.
\nThe reason that I really chose Islam when I really decided that it was going to be the right thing for me that guy I was dating from Pakistan, and we were engaged for a long time. He was my fianc\u00e9e and at the time I was going to school in Arizona and he was coming to visit me. He was driving from Boulder to Arizona to come and visit me, and he was actually killed in a car crash. And that was my first real experience with death, and that was what really inspired me to look more into Islam because I just knew that there had to be more to him than just dying. He just couldn\u2019t die, like there had to be like a reason, not even a reason, there had to be something like a higher power that was like dictating it.
\nThe Impact of the Quran<\/strong>
\nSo I read the Quran and I read a lot of books, and I talked to a lot of people. And eventually I remember one day I was reading the Quran and it was maybe like 2 months after he died. I was reading the Quran and it all came clear to me. I just had this moment where it all made sense, everything that I was reading and everything that I knew and everything about him and everything about this whole situation. I just came to a point where I just knew that it was right.
\nI guess the first time I said the shahadah I was by myself. You know that point where I realized that everything made sense. That\u2019s when the first time I was by myself, you know really I mean that was when I first felt it. Later I did when I ended up talking about it with some of my Muslim friends, they convinced me to go to Denver because there is a Sheikh from Denver that I went and talked to. I talked with him and he kind of made sure that this is what I really wanted to do. He wanted to make sure that I wasn\u2019t doing it for somebody, that I wasn\u2019t doing it for my fianc\u00e9e. We talked about this and I told him \u201cYes, this is for myself.\u201d I said the shahadah with him and with two other of my friends as witnesses.
\nI hadn\u2019t ever really talked too much about it with my parents because I knew they were not really keen on religion. I think the first time they realized I was really getting serious was in the last Ramadan, and I fasted for the whole Ramadan. It was my first Ramadan and it was really hard, but I did it and that\u2019s when they kind of realized \u201cOh, she is serious,\u201d you know like \u201cwow, she is really not eating all day\u201d and I think that is when they first realized that it was serious. We never really talked too much about it. But eventually you know they came to accept it.
\nI suppose that if I hadn\u2019t met my fianc\u00e9e, I might not have learnt as much about Islam as I did, and I might not have made my decision to convert as soon as I did. I mean now looking back at everything that happened, I think I still would have ended up converting if I learned what I had. I think it was taking me a lot longer and it wouldn\u2019t have been as clear decision because when he died that really made things clear to me like maybe because I never had such an intense experience I guess.
\nBefore I converted I went to some parties and did that kind of things. I would say I was a different person. After I converted I kind of felt I had like a clean slate, you know, like I could start things over in a way. I felt like all the bad things I did in my past before I was a Muslim, I felt it kind not got erased but lost significance.
\nParents and Friends<\/strong>
\nBut after I converted I changed a lot of the people that I\u2019m seeing now. Most of my friends now are Muslims. We hang out together, and on Friday nights we would hang out like go to a movie or go balling or something we want, like go to a party. So I think who you hang out with would definitely help. My friends helped me a lot, you know, to make the switch.
\nI do think about marriage sometimes. I don\u2019t worry about it too much. I feel like I will find the right person. And I do want him to be a Muslim obviously. I\u2019m not interested in dating anybody that\u2019s not a Muslim right now. I feel like right now it\u2019s such a big part of me that I don\u2019t really like to date anybody that\u2019s not a Muslim.
\nMy parents actually like my behavior better after I converted. They didn\u2019t have to worry about me as much. They don\u2019t have to worry like how she is going to get home safe, or that kind of things. They know that I was not going to do anything stupid, so they actually felt better about my behavior after I converted to Islam.
\nWhen I first wore a veil it was definitely very hard. At classes it was very difficult because I felt like everybody was staring at me. There are other girls here that wear the Hijab. But I think right now I\u2019m the only American girl here wearing Hijab… I definitely feel like proud. I feel good. I feel like it\u2019s part of me now. I feel better about myself that I\u2019m wearing it.
\nI don\u2019t think my parents are embarrassed when we go out and I\u2019m wearing Hijab. I think that my parents actually come to be proud of the fact that I wear it when we go out. I think they think that it shows other people that you can wear the Hijab and still be smart, and you still be like you are your own person and really independent and that you think on our own. Just because you are wearing a Hijab it doesn\u2019t mean something negative about you. I think that they actually respect the fact that I wear Hijab now more…<\/p>\n

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